Is it hate?
She's the only one who cares for me... she was the one who gave birth to me... she's been thru a lot of hardships, she once said... the reason she is alive is for me and my brother... but... was it worth it??? I can not die in peace bcuz of her... the guilty conscience that "I'm selfish, I can't do this to her" haunts me... Idk what I want to do with my life... there was a point where I did everything for her... but then there came a point where I started hating her... I hate he cuz she was negligent... I hate her cuz she was weak and couldn't fight for herself... I hate her for not being there for me when I needed her the most... it feels as if I grew up by myself... with ppl around but nobody were actually there... I didn't know who I could call as mine and who I could trust... Idk what I want to do for myself... she was my muse... but now I hate her cuz... for her... I am stuck in this... cuz for her... I have to stay alive and rot over and over again dying every single day!!!